Silk is my name on this blog, it is merely the phonetic sound of the combination of my initials. I am parenting three kids with developmental challenges; 2 bio, 1 borrowed from a cousin. I have heard this referred to as kinship care in the foster care field, but we don't get any board payments, so I'm not sure it's properly used terminology.
I gave birth to my oldest son in 1993; he has asperger's syndrome which wasn't officially diagnosed until 2007. I refer to him as DS (dear son), DS #1, T or T-bone. There might be others, but that's what I remember right now.
I asked T-bone to occasionally write some blog entries with me; he has dysgraphia (has a hard time physically forming letters with a writing implement) and composition is something he really struggles with also. I thought the blog would be a good exercise for him. Even though writing is difficult, he reads like a fiend and has advanced skills in that area.
T's development was average or above average up until age five when he had several vaccines administered at once and immediately regressed to the point where he was diagnosed with symptoms of autism. At the time, my husband and I were unconcerned about this as the damage to his immune system was a much greater concern.
T was very sickly for a year after the vaccine overload, and rather than continue to pull him out of pre school constantly, we decided to home school him. He was exclusively home schooled up until fall 2005 when we enrolled him in a cyber school. This method of instruction is also delivered in the home.
I believe that T was genetically predisposed to be autistic; though there is no doubt in my mind that the vaccines triggered the severity of his symptoms. We were very blessed to be near a doctor who specialized in treating autism as a condition that could be "fixed." I don't know if he's had any complete reversals, but his protocol definitely helped repair T's immune system and move him toward the higher functioning end of the spectrum. This was a MEDICAL protocol; it involved no psychology or behavior management.
T believes that he will be able to finish college, have a career, and a normal family life. He likes creating stories; and wants to make films and video games.
In 2001, my husband, DS #1, and I moved from California to Pennsylvania. I continued the home school program and gave birth to a second son early in 2002. At that point, my cousin asked me to home school her daughter (born 1987) whose own problems were unadressed in the public school system. She has lived with us ever since. I refer to her as DD (dear daughter), OCD girl, and probably a few other things.
DD developed such severe school anxiety after years of trying to cope with OCD, panic attacks, claustrophobia and agoraphobia, without any services or accommodations, that she refused to return to school in eighth grade.
DD, after a combination of home school and cyber school, now has a high school diploma. She started her first college sponsored course in Fall 2008, and eventually wants a career in special education.
Due to the reaction that DS#1 had to vaccines, we decided NOT to vaccinate DS#2. I also refer to him as D. We are NOT anti-vaccine. We just believed that the risk benefit analysis did not merit vaccinating DS#2. I intended to home school DS#2 as well to avoid the risk of exposure to infectious disease in the younger years. But even if I was to place him in a class room setting in the future, I believe the relatively high vaccination rate of the other school age children will protect him in that kind of environment.
Though I have not had a formal evaluation yet, it is clear that DS#2 also has developmental delays. I am almost certain it will prove to be Asperger's Syndrome, just as DS#1 has. Which leads us to....
Through the examination of symptoms that his children have, and the formal evaluation that DS#1 had last year, it has become apparent to my husband that he himself has Asperger's Syndrome. He was formally diagnosed with attention deficit disorder as a fully grown adult in his forties, but we know now that it is only one of many symptoms that add up to Asperger's. He intends to find a neuropsychiatrist who specializes in diagnosing adults, which is a little tricky, so that he can pursue some of the beneficial therapies. Such as learning to communicate better, especially with his wife.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
husband survey
1. He's sitting in front of the tv, what is on the screen? most likely the sci fi channel.
2. You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? None - if we go out to eat, the last thing he wants to do is pay for a salad.
3. What's one food he doesn't like? vegetables.
4. You go out to the bar, what does he order? nothing alcoholic. this is something I love about him. If we DID actually go to A BAR, he would order some kind of fruit smoothie if he was getting fancy, otherwise a coke.
5. Where did he go to high school? Carson CA. Why would anybody want to know this unless it was an identity theft kind of thing? What does this proove? Why wouldn't I know where he went to high school? Ask something a little more interesting please.
6. What size shoe does he wear? 7 1/2.
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Junk mail. by default, he collects anything he doesn't want to have to make a decision about keeping or chucking. This includes receipts and mail, any kind of documents, worn out clothes. He used to collect comic books and magic the gathering cards.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? roast beef
9. What would this person eat every day if he could? chinese food, or anything with fried rice
10. What is his favorite cereal? Lucky Charms, Count Chocula
11. What would he never wear? a tie, unless forced to by gun point
12. What is his favorite sports team? NONE. Do you read this people? I am the luckiest non sports widow in the world. His favorite sport is martial arts, followed by volley ball. He would rather do them than watch them.
13. Who will he vote for? Well he wanted to vote for Ron Paul, like me, until he dropped off the ballot. So then we weren't sure what to do, because we don't care much for either the Republican or Democratic parties. But then he said, "I think I'll vote for Obama because I'm so sick of hearing people call him 'n1@@*r'. Gotta love that man.
14. Who is his best friend? Me. I mean that. I wish he kept in touch with his old friends more. Next I would pick David, who is our son's godfather. But my dh has a very hard time maintaining friendships. Most people have to meet him more than half way.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Make him leave the house occasionally and socialize with others.
16. How many states has he lived in? two, and a trust territory, and a foreign country too.
17. What is his heritage? Filipino - again, what wife doesn't know this about their husband? PUH-lease.
18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Fudge brownies with powdered sugar icing and crushed oreos.
19. Did he play sports in high school? martial arts and volleyball, but not FOR his high school
20. What could he spend hours doing? Playing rpg video games or sci fi channel marathons.
21. Favorite color? I don't think he has one. He wears a lot of black and dark blue.
22. What kind of music is on his car stereo presets? None. I'm guessing they are all talk radio.
23. Does he read books/magazines and if so what kinds? Books and magazines, though mostly books. Mostly of the sci fi variety. At least a couple new ones a month. The magazines are probably gaming or computer graphics related.
24. You are in a stadium/hall with your husband. Is it a conference, a sporting event, a concert, or a play/musical? Probably a concert. He's not a fan of big crowds though. He listens to music he would never see live due to the scary fans.
25. He gets to pick his ideal vacation - what is it? Locked in the house with his computer and cable tv. If he HAS to leave, it would be somewhere warm (with an air conditioner nearby) where he can sit on his butt, read a book, and take an occasional swim, and not have to talk to people. If I'm there, then he is also naked in bed a lot.
26. What does he really think of his mother in law? He doesn't have deep relationships with most of our relatives, but he gets along with her just fine. He knows she is a little nutty. He invited her to live with us once, so I guess that's a good sign.
27. How does he truly feel about religion? Well, he believes, but sitting in a crowded church or reading scripture is not his idea of a good time. He was born into a catholic family, and he has an aversion to organized religion or very judgmental people.
28. He gets to start over again in picking a career - would he keep the one he has, or choose something else? Would probably pick something close to what he has, maybe with more of an artisitic flair. Though I'm pretty sure he would have done college completely differently.
29. If you have kids, do you thinkg he would still if he got a do over? If you don't have kids, do you think he wishes that you did? He wanted kids so badly that even though he was totally surprised by what it was actually like, I think he'd still have at least one. I think he just wishes he had been more prepared, more financially stable since I got very sick when our first kid was born, and it was financially devastating.
30. If you guys could go back in time to before you got married, would he still want to? HE would. I think I would have made him live on his own for a little while first instead of going from his parents house to my house.
2. You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? None - if we go out to eat, the last thing he wants to do is pay for a salad.
3. What's one food he doesn't like? vegetables.
4. You go out to the bar, what does he order? nothing alcoholic. this is something I love about him. If we DID actually go to A BAR, he would order some kind of fruit smoothie if he was getting fancy, otherwise a coke.
5. Where did he go to high school? Carson CA. Why would anybody want to know this unless it was an identity theft kind of thing? What does this proove? Why wouldn't I know where he went to high school? Ask something a little more interesting please.
6. What size shoe does he wear? 7 1/2.
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Junk mail. by default, he collects anything he doesn't want to have to make a decision about keeping or chucking. This includes receipts and mail, any kind of documents, worn out clothes. He used to collect comic books and magic the gathering cards.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? roast beef
9. What would this person eat every day if he could? chinese food, or anything with fried rice
10. What is his favorite cereal? Lucky Charms, Count Chocula
11. What would he never wear? a tie, unless forced to by gun point
12. What is his favorite sports team? NONE. Do you read this people? I am the luckiest non sports widow in the world. His favorite sport is martial arts, followed by volley ball. He would rather do them than watch them.
13. Who will he vote for? Well he wanted to vote for Ron Paul, like me, until he dropped off the ballot. So then we weren't sure what to do, because we don't care much for either the Republican or Democratic parties. But then he said, "I think I'll vote for Obama because I'm so sick of hearing people call him 'n1@@*r'. Gotta love that man.
14. Who is his best friend? Me. I mean that. I wish he kept in touch with his old friends more. Next I would pick David, who is our son's godfather. But my dh has a very hard time maintaining friendships. Most people have to meet him more than half way.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Make him leave the house occasionally and socialize with others.
16. How many states has he lived in? two, and a trust territory, and a foreign country too.
17. What is his heritage? Filipino - again, what wife doesn't know this about their husband? PUH-lease.
18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Fudge brownies with powdered sugar icing and crushed oreos.
19. Did he play sports in high school? martial arts and volleyball, but not FOR his high school
20. What could he spend hours doing? Playing rpg video games or sci fi channel marathons.
21. Favorite color? I don't think he has one. He wears a lot of black and dark blue.
22. What kind of music is on his car stereo presets? None. I'm guessing they are all talk radio.
23. Does he read books/magazines and if so what kinds? Books and magazines, though mostly books. Mostly of the sci fi variety. At least a couple new ones a month. The magazines are probably gaming or computer graphics related.
24. You are in a stadium/hall with your husband. Is it a conference, a sporting event, a concert, or a play/musical? Probably a concert. He's not a fan of big crowds though. He listens to music he would never see live due to the scary fans.
25. He gets to pick his ideal vacation - what is it? Locked in the house with his computer and cable tv. If he HAS to leave, it would be somewhere warm (with an air conditioner nearby) where he can sit on his butt, read a book, and take an occasional swim, and not have to talk to people. If I'm there, then he is also naked in bed a lot.
26. What does he really think of his mother in law? He doesn't have deep relationships with most of our relatives, but he gets along with her just fine. He knows she is a little nutty. He invited her to live with us once, so I guess that's a good sign.
27. How does he truly feel about religion? Well, he believes, but sitting in a crowded church or reading scripture is not his idea of a good time. He was born into a catholic family, and he has an aversion to organized religion or very judgmental people.
28. He gets to start over again in picking a career - would he keep the one he has, or choose something else? Would probably pick something close to what he has, maybe with more of an artisitic flair. Though I'm pretty sure he would have done college completely differently.
29. If you have kids, do you thinkg he would still if he got a do over? If you don't have kids, do you think he wishes that you did? He wanted kids so badly that even though he was totally surprised by what it was actually like, I think he'd still have at least one. I think he just wishes he had been more prepared, more financially stable since I got very sick when our first kid was born, and it was financially devastating.
30. If you guys could go back in time to before you got married, would he still want to? HE would. I think I would have made him live on his own for a little while first instead of going from his parents house to my house.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)