I had my fifteenth birthday last month, and some people thought it was weird that I wanted to have a party at Chuck E Cheese. But they have great arcade games there. Actually there were more adults at my party than kids, and a lot of them went nuts on the games. I get along better with adults than kids my age anyway.
Kids my age a lot of times do stupid things like waste time trying to bug girls and show off. I always think about having a serious relationship, finding someone who likes the same things I like, and eventually leading to marriage way down the road. But I'm in no hurry to get there, I'd like to take things slowly. I have no interest in drinking, or taking drugs. I tried alcohol once; piss would have been better. I've seen a lot of reality tv shows where people do drugs and then act really really dumb, and then pass out like a corpse. What's the point of that? I know some people take drugs because they hate their lives, but they should spend some time in a foreign country and see if they don't think their lives are a lot better than they thought.
The point about age with Asperger's is that a lot of kids who have it are only two thirds the maturity of their chronological age. So therefore I'm more like ten? But I don't FEEL like ten to me. But my mom says I am. I guess because people my age are getting jobs, or learning to drive, or are more independent. I don't really know how different I am from other kids, because how I am seems normal to me.
When I'm in public, I think I'm actually very mature, or more mature than other people my age. I don't spaz out in public, and I don't swear. But a lot of times I don't notice how other people are feeling, and I don't respond to them. When something bugs me, I try to ignore it until it drives me nuts and then I explode.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
blogging at gunpoint
I was home schooled until fifth grade when I started a cyber charter. I got sick all the time when I was little, so my mom decided to take me out of regular school. Plus she had started to suspect that I would have a hard time in regular school, what with having to sit at a desk and all, and follow rules, and try to learn things by intuition. So when I was 12, she had me tested at the cyber school and they said I should be in seventh grade instead. They decided on sixth. I didn't care, I had no idea what it meant to be in a certain grade. It was hard, since I still couldn't write. I don't just mean I didn't know how to compose, I mean I had a hard time taking a pen and physically making the letters. I am left handed, but so what. I really don't know why, I would draw constantly all day long. I still have a hard time writing, but I can really use a keyboard.
I liked the cyber school when I could do it, but I hated it when I couldn't do it. Some stuff was easy and some stuff was hard. It was really different from home schooling. IF I had the choice to go back to home schooling, I would. But now I have to think about what I need for college; for some reason though I have no desire to go to a regular school with a regular classroom, I have always believed that I should go to college.
After a few months at the cyber school, there was a health class resource called Brainpop that I used all the time, even just for fun. I was reading about symptoms of a thing called autism, and I thought, wow that sounds like me. And that sounds like me. And that sounds like me. Me me me. In fact, I thought, why don't they have my picture in there? So I asked my mom if she had ever heard of autism, and she started laughing. That's how I found out I was autistic. I guess she didn't think there was any reason to tell me, kind of like when you find out that Santa Claus doesn't really exist.
I think it might have been nice if I had known sooner, just so I could understand why I was weird. But I will leave those details for another post. I don't really like blogging. I don't even like myspace, or email, even though I am a teenager. But I'm supposed to do this as therapy, because I avoid communicating with people. Bah humbug. But I love the internet. I like youtube the most. I will make my own videos someday, and then maybe I can stop blog writing. That's all for today.
I liked the cyber school when I could do it, but I hated it when I couldn't do it. Some stuff was easy and some stuff was hard. It was really different from home schooling. IF I had the choice to go back to home schooling, I would. But now I have to think about what I need for college; for some reason though I have no desire to go to a regular school with a regular classroom, I have always believed that I should go to college.
After a few months at the cyber school, there was a health class resource called Brainpop that I used all the time, even just for fun. I was reading about symptoms of a thing called autism, and I thought, wow that sounds like me. And that sounds like me. And that sounds like me. Me me me. In fact, I thought, why don't they have my picture in there? So I asked my mom if she had ever heard of autism, and she started laughing. That's how I found out I was autistic. I guess she didn't think there was any reason to tell me, kind of like when you find out that Santa Claus doesn't really exist.
I think it might have been nice if I had known sooner, just so I could understand why I was weird. But I will leave those details for another post. I don't really like blogging. I don't even like myspace, or email, even though I am a teenager. But I'm supposed to do this as therapy, because I avoid communicating with people. Bah humbug. But I love the internet. I like youtube the most. I will make my own videos someday, and then maybe I can stop blog writing. That's all for today.
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